Balance in the family

For the past few months my husband has been diligently working to get his program off the ground - a program he has been working on at varying degrees for about 4 years. He's just about ready to launch it and we are getting excited! Throughout most of August and this entire month so far, he has been working an average of 15 hours a day on this project which has not left him the time that he would like to spend with his family. Things will be changing soon and he is looking forward to spending more time with me and the kids - and so are we.

I prefaced with that because tonight as I was driving home from the store with the kids after they had just had yet another squabble, I was thinking, "Why are the kids fighting so much lately? Why have they been at each others throats almost constantly the past couple of months?".

Being pretty good at math (ha!), I put two and two together and decided that this imbalance in our lives is likely part of the reason there has been more contention than normal. It's not easy having my husband - their dad - working so much and not spending good quality time with us like he normally does.

I realize that there are a lot of families that struggle with this on a constant basis. Many parents have to work to take care of the necessities of life and often the kids get less attention than they want or even need.

Now this situation that my family is in right now is only temporary. It's important to keep balance and that should be resolved in the very near future. It will be a relief to me. Life gets crazy for all of us, but make sure that you are doing your best to have balance in your life and to create that for your kids. They need it. They need you. They need parents who are there for them, who will listen to them and hang out with them. We are not big television watchers. I watch some programs during the day while the kids are at school and I am folding laundry.(No Soap Operas!) But in the evening, the T.V. goes off and we read together, go on walks, play games, do puzzles or just go about our own activities in the main living area. We don't have the T.V. on to distract us from each other. Sometimes on the weekend we will watch a movie and we did watch the Olympics quite a bit. Those are togetherness times, they contribute to us feel closer as a family and help us maintain balance.

So work on that as a family. Maybe let go of some of the activities that take away from family time and see what you can do to create more stability and consistency in your life - I will, too!

Kindness

"A slip of the foot you may soon recover, but a slip of the tongue you may never get over." - Benjamin Franklin

When I first read this quote, I thought of the words that inadvertently slip from my mouth in a moment of frustration or aggravation. Maybe not always the words so much as the tone. Perhaps you, too have experienced such moments. You want to take back the angry words you spoke. Maybe the words were considerate enough, but yelling them wasn't. Hopefully those around you are NOT used to hearing negativity or anger coming from you. Perhaps this quote better illustrates your communication:

"Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God's kindness: kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile." - Mother Teresa

If there is kindness in your face, your eyes and your smile, it would be pretty difficult to yell at someone, wouldn't it? But what if the person you are around is being angry or unpleasant? Well, here's a quote I found that will help you:

"Be kind to unkind people - they need it the most" - Ashleigh Brilliant

Often it's hardest to be kind to those who are ill-mannered, but the way you act will have a great bearing on the way you feel. Act pleasant, feel pleasant. Act grumpy, feel grumpy. It reminds me of times I am in the car and I accidentally cut someone off or I pull in front of them after giving them plenty of notice but they are upset with me for getting into "their" lane. Sometimes I get the horn, or a dirty look, maybe the finger, but if I let it get to me, I am not hurting that other driver, he's already in a foul mood, I am only hurting myself."

Here's one more quote, just to leave you in a really good mood: “Kindness is difficult to give away because it keeps coming back."

Attitude

You’ve heard it a million times, but it’s true that a good attitude can make a tremendous difference in your day. Each day you can make a choice as how to react to the events of the day and the people with whom you surround yourself. Everyone has at some point been around a person with a lousy attitude. A person who is negative about everything and everybody. They are no fun to be around. They tear you down and make you feel like strangling them! Other people have just the opposite effect. They lift you up, they are happy to be around you, they are happy to be alive, they are taking their struggles in stride and they know the storm will pass, it always does. I have a friend who is like that. I no longer live near her, but I wish I did. She was fun to be around. She made me feel happy because she was happy. She made me feel like I am the most important person in her life. When I knocked on her door, she was delighted to see me, she invited me in and would always make time for me. Who wouldn’t give anything to have a friend like that?
So what kind of person are you? Are you like the guy that everyone wants to run away from whenever he opens his mouth? Are like a cancer that spreads negativity and makes people feel yucky? Or perhaps you are a happy person, a person with a good attitude, one that looks at the good even when it seems difficult to find. Other people gravitate towards you because you exude goodness and light and make them feel important and worthwhile.
It’s up to you. Decide the attitude you are going to have. Make it a great attitude and people around you will begin to notice a difference. They will wonder why you are so happy!

What do you do?

I was thinking of a friend of mine today and wondering how she is doing. We don't talk much anymore and I don't really know what is going on in her life. I do know that she is a mom of four and her son is autistic. I know it's a challenge for her - I think it would be a challenge for anyone. I love this friend and I miss her. Over the years that I have known her she has always been busy with one thing or another, separate from her home and mother activities. She has sold Pampered Chef, scrap booking materials, fitness supplements, and make-up. And those are only the things I can remember! She is always busy and doing.
Many of my friends are doing fun things with their lives. Life for a mom is so different today than it was 50 years ago. We have so many more opportunities and especially now with the internet we can do more and reach more people. To me it is very exciting to think about the things my friends are doing. They may not know it, but they motivate me to do things that otherwise I may not do.
I just read a great quote by some guy I have never heard of. Orison Swett Marden said, "The Creator has not given you a longing to do that which you have no ability to do." In other words, if there is something that you DESIRE to do, there will be a way for you to do it.
If there is something that you are longing to do, then I encourage you to do it. It may take many years, but start now, make a plan and begin working towards it. Go for it!!

I want your stories!

Ordinary Moms Doing Extraordinary Things

The other day I was thinking about some mothers I know that are pretty amazing. They may feel ordinary but I think they're extraordinary. I want to hear about the lives of these mothers — their activities, feelings and emotions. I am compiling a collection of stories that I would like to have published so they can be shared. I am sending out a request to anyone who would like to share a story about themselves or another mom who has done, or is doing something great, amazing and inspirational.

So please send me your stories.Tell me about the amazing moms you know. Is it your mother, your daughter, a sister or a neighbor? Once I have a good collection I'll take it to a publisher and have it printed into a book that can be enjoyed by many moms. My hope is to give people something enriching to read that inspires change, brightens their day, or lightens their load. I want stories that make you laugh, cry and contemplate. I am looking forward to hearing many wonderful and unforgettable stories!

Guidelines and information:
• 300 - 1500 words
• True stories only
• Names may be changed
• Deadline for stories is November 1, 2008
• Create emotion and feeling. Include a conflict or difficult situation, but end in a positive manner. Share from your heart. Introduce the characters and make them feel real to the reader. Let the reader know what the characters are feeling throughout the entire situation. Don’t hold back, just be open and let it come from within.
• Feel free to send this information on to other women who may want to share a "mom" story!

Reading

Keeping your mind active your entire life is a great way to get more joy out of life. Think about the times when you haven’t felt well, either physically or mentally. Doing something to engage your mind can go a long way toward helping you feel better.

Let’s take reading a book for example. Reading an interesting book can keep you up until late in the night. It can take you away from your life temporarily and put you somewhere else. But this can go both ways. Let’s say I’m reading a Harry Potter book. Interesting? Engaging? Yes. Educational? No. But that is not your purpose for the moment. If you are in a bad mood and pick up a book you enjoy reading, it has a positive affect on the rest of your day.

On the other hand, some books can give a negative experience. There were books I read in High School that were required reading and I hated them. (I know you are thinking of some of those books right now!)

I am currently reading Anne Frank: Diary of a Young Girl. I have never read this book before, but I like to mix things up in my reading and experience a little history or biography once in awhile. This book has affected me in two ways. Number one, it is a little depressing. I am pushing myself to keep reading despite the fact that I am not relating very well to her at all. This is not to say that I think it is horrible reading. It’s just that I am a few days away from being 36 and she wrote in her diary as a young teenager. She is cooped up in the “Secret Annexe” and she and the others who are living there are afraid for their lives. The events surrounding the Holocaust are not exactly uplifting. However, it also has given me more of an appreciation for the freedoms I enjoy. I take many of those freedoms for granted. Most of us do. Those of us who are free, are blessed. I will keep reading this book. I am curious and when my children ask me if I have read it, I want to be able to say, “Yes”.

No matter which book I am reading, I am engaging my mind simply because I love to read. It’s also enjoyable to read self-help books. I used to be embarrassed to go to the self-help section at the book store or the library, but not anymore because if I want to help someone who better to help than myself? Reading encouraging books can truly lift your mood and inspire you to become who or what you want to become. It’s like going to school and learning exactly what you want to! Mostly the self-help books I read are the ones my husband buys about thinking big, achieving and having what you want out of life. In fact, Garr is in the process of creating his own Mindset Development Course that he wants to use to help others set goals and achieve their dreams.

I like to keep track of the books I am reading and get ideas from my friends on goodreads.com.

So the next time you are feeling down, pick up a good book. Remember, a good book is anything you would enjoy reading. Get some ideas from other people, but also don’t worry about what someone else may think about a book you are taking pleasure in.
(More next time!)

Summer!

Wow! Look how time flies! It's already August the 1st and my kids are nearing the end of their summer vacation. In about 2 more weeks they will headed back to school. But this has been a longer summer vacation than the one they had last year. Year-round school is still something I am trying to wrap my head around.
Usually during the summer, I keep my kids busy with reading, math worksheets and plenty of simple chores. They still have their lists of activities and chores that are supposed to be done, but they are choosing to only get the bare minimum accomplished so they can play with friends. During the school year, my kids, like many others, are required to read each day in addition to the other schooling and homework they have. But during off-track times and summer, I also expect my kids to read and they do it nearly every day. It is also a fun for me and my kids when I read to them. We have read lots of books together. This summer I read The BFG, by Roald Dahl to them and now we are reading Pippi Longstocking.
My philosophy about summer vacation or any other extended break from school is that it is important to keep our children's minds stimulated throughout the year, and throughout their lives. If I require them to keep busy even when they are out of school, hopefully that will continue on in their lives and they will always have a desire to be active, industrious and to keep learning and growing until they die!